


Reticence

by thealphagate_archivist



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-03-23
Updated: 2006-03-23
Packaged: 2019-02-02 10:07:23
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12724545
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thealphagate_archivist/pseuds/thealphagate_archivist
Summary: Being reticent means keeping quiet.





	Reticence

**Author's Note:**

> Note from the archivists: this story was originally archived at [The Alpha Gate](https://fanlore.org/wiki/The_Alpha_Gate), a Stargate SG-1 archive, which began migration to the AO3 in 2017 when its hosting software, eFiction, was no longer receiving support. To preserve the archive, we began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in November 2017. We e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are this creator and it hasn't transferred to your AO3 account, please contact us using the e-mail address on [The Alpha Gate collection profile](https://archiveofourown.org/collections/thealphagate).

  
Author's notes: Warnings: Language  


* * *

Thanksgiving dinner at the home of General George Hammond

The large mahogany table held a substantial spread of Thanksgiving food, classily presented on white bone china crockery with fluted edges and decorated with a single silver band. The cutlery sparkled under the flickering candlelight of three tree-like candelabra placed strategically along the length of the table against the backdrop of a brilliant white damask tablecloth, big enough to cover the better part of the state of Colorado. 

General George Hammond sat himself in an agreeably shiny mahogany carver chair, his generously upholstered backside sinking slightly into the dark red and cream regency striped cushioned seat. He sat at the head of his sumptuous table exuding pride and pleasure as he surveyed his guests. People were paired opposite each other along the length of the table. The first consisted of Sam Carter and her Tok'ra father Jacob. Next to them were Teal'c and his son Ry'ac. Further down the table, seated opposite each other, were Jack and Daniel and beyond them were Janet Fraiser and her adopted daughter Cassandra. Everyone was dressed up, the women looking suitably glittery and festive and the men in suits, except Teal'c and Ry'ac who were clothed in traditional Chulak robes.

Hammond leaned back in his seat and grasping a small silver spoon tapped his empty wine glass, causing it to ring out to the assembled company with a 'fairy' like high pitched shimmering sound. The harmony of tenor, bass and higher pitched female voices trailed off... into silent smiling expectation as the portly figure of the General stood, holding the empty wine glass and a full bottle of red wine. He cleared his throat to make a speech.

"Ladies and gentlemen, colleagues and friends. Today we come together to share the historic observation of a day of thanksgiving, a day on which we pause to acknowledge our dependence on the mercy and favour of Divine Providence. The first immigrants to this land met and gave thanks for their survival in what was in their first year in a hostile and unforgiving environment. With the help and support of newfound friends, an alliance was born that ensured the security and sustenance of those first settlers and explorers.

Today we share a very special environment way beyond the stars of our own horizon. The environment 'out there' is also a hostile and unforgiving one for those of us brave and bold enough to meet its challenges.

Through our endeavours we have also found new friends and made new alliances to whom we are very grateful.

We gather round this table to share food, friendship and to give thanks in the hope that, like those first people, we can go forward with anticipation and optimism for the years ahead. 

Please fill your glasses and give thanks for friends and allies." 

Hammond filled his glass and passed the wine bottle to Jacob. Jacob passed it to Teal'c who bowed his head solemnly and passed the bottle un-poured to Jack, while Ry'ac poured a glass of chilled cranberry juice for himself and his father.

Daniel held out his glass for Jack, whose fingers lightly brushed Daniel's as he steadied the glass and poured. Daniel watched as the ruby red liquid swirled around the inside of the glass as it filled, acutely aware of Jack's light and subtle touch. Handing the bottle to Janet, Jack looked down at his own wine studiously avoiding eye contact with the man opposite. Janet filled her glass by draining the bottle and Cassandra took the jug of cranberry juice filling her own glass. Everyone stood held up their glasses and repeated Hammond's toast, "Friends and allies". 

Sam smiled at her father, thankful that he could manage to find some time to be with her and thankful that he was alive and well, considering his dangerous life style. Jacob looked at his beautiful, strong and talented daughter and thought the same thing about her. Teal'c sat erect in quiet dignity and pride, his lips stretched just beyond neutral. His son grinned broadly, knowing that for his father, it was a huge smile.

Jack looked at his yet to be filled, virginal white plate, seeing the distorted reflection of his face in the glass-like surface. Daniel leaned to his left and whispered to Cassie, complimenting her new hairstyle. Janet beamed with pride at the young woman from another planet who had become her beloved and loving daughter.

Around the table only Jack wasn't smiling.

Suddenly the dining room doors were flung open and two waiters carried in a huge roast turkey on a silver platter, placing it down carefully in front of Hammond to cheers and applause from the guests. Hammond picked up the carving knife and fork with a flourish and cut the first slice of white flesh from the breast of the 20lb bird. To more applause and hoorays, the two waiters took the platter to the sideboard to carve the rest. Then one of the waiters brought more bottles of wine to the table. 

As the others chatted and laughed together, Jack sat in silence fingering the place card with his name at the top. 'Colonel Jack O'Neill USAF.' That says it all he thought wryly, allowing himself a small lopsided smile. He read the card and studied the menu printed in flowing script on it.

Roasted free-range turkey with pear chestnut stuffing Cornbread sourdough stuffing Caramelised chestnuts and Brussels sprouts Roast garlic mashed potatoes Pumpkin Gratin Chunky apple cranberry sauce Old fashioned apple pie Pumpkin cake with brown butter icing

His stomach rumbled involuntarily as the combination of the written word and the smells of the food tempted his nasal senses and made his mouth water. He glanced again at his name and rank on the card. Those few words summed up the culmination of the previous 30 years of his life as a career Air Force officer, playing it straight down the line. Playing it 'straight', now that was irony if ever he'd heard it. He had always relied on self-discipline, courage and not a little humour to survive what had been a dangerous and eventful career. Now towards the end of it he was engaged in the dirtiest, and probably the most dangerous, undertaking of his life doing battle in a secret war against a load of snakeheads. He was self-disciplined all right and not just in his professional life but in his private life too. That self-discipline had served him well and had contributed, in part, to his survival in the field. 

He snuck a glance around the table at his team. His 2IC, the gorgeous and brilliant Major Sam Carter, was the woman that most of the SGC expected would become Jack's life partner one day. He snorted quietly to himself. That was never going to happen. No way. No how. Not anytime soon. He was full of admiration and respect for her skills and technical know how, she'd pulled his nuts out the fire more than once, but she was not for him.

Teal'c was Jack's 'main man'. The steadfast, loyal, brave and taciturn Jaffa had also pulled those same nuts out of other flames when the going got tough. 

Then there was Daniel. He was bright and had a razor-sharp intellect and was the conscience of his team. Daniel was the one who always challenged Jack's thinking about their missions by questioning his assumptions and perceptions about where they were and who they met. Daniel always argued for the 'ask questions first and don't shoot later' approach. Jack knew Daniel was his moral compass, the man he could ask for options and be sure he'd get some, even if the trigger-happy Colonel didn't always agree with them.

Jack allowed himself a satisfied smile. Yep, he had a good team; the best and they were his kids. As he looked around the table he realised that his kids were all grown up, men and a woman who knew their stuff. In fact if he included Janet, the pint-sized doctor who packed a metaphorical punch like a very attractive heavy goods vehicle, he had the very best men and women on his side and at his side. He felt privileged and suddenly abashed by the bevy of brilliance around the table. Then he remembered that he too had played a pivotal role in saving the planet, more than once. 

So why was he feeling so uncomfortable about that little piece of plain white card with his name on it? Oh he knew, in his heart of hearts he knew. It was the 'playing it straight' that really got to him. He wasn't straight he was gay, always had been. So was his life a mockery? Had he been self-delusional all these years? Was his marriage to Sarah a sham? He figured the answer was no, no and maybe. He had tried his best with Sarah. He had never strayed, well only once with the Irishman, but he always thought he could make a go of it with Sarah. Charlie's death had made their break up inevitable, after that they had nothing to stay together for. 

The problem was that in recent years Jack had found the 'playing it straight' thing more difficult to achieve. He had never allowed his dick to rule his brain. Okay, except for when he'd screwed Kinthia but that was under the influence of drugs. And then when he'd fucked Laira but that was only the once when he didn't think he'd ever get home again, and he was under the influence of alcohol. And there was the Irishman. Dermot had been a long while ago even though he had drifted in and out of Jack's life more recently. He wasn't planning on doing any of that again because he was in love with his team's archaeologist. This wasn't the first time he'd admitted it. He admitted it to himself every time he sniped or argued with Daniel and every time he had rejected one of Daniel's possible options. Jack knew it was a weird way to conduct his feelings but the words Colonel and USAF meant pushing his emotions and desires down, well down and out of sight for good when it concerned Daniel. He could feel that hard lump in his stomach expanding again. He thought about his body's reaction to Daniel's proximity just across the table, and the temptation of kicking off a shoe and placing his toes between the younger man's thighs to play footsie under the table was just too much to think about. Taking a deep breath he dragged himself back to the festivities.

Daniel quietly observed the tall lean grey haired man sitting opposite and wondered why he seemed so distracted and distant tonight. Daniel knew how easy it was to get distracted around Jack as he had spent the last few years living a balancing act; he was a juggler par excellence, juggling his feelings for the man without showing them. The fact that Jack had got increasingly snarky with him in recent months did not change how he felt, it just made him question why he should carry such an almighty great torch in the face of his hostility. There were times when Daniel could manage to turn down the flame a bit but he could not, and would not, ever extinguish it entirely. He just wished he could let his flame lick the man's body now and again. What was he saying! Daniel admonished himself for even thinking the word 'lick', but it was hard. Oh no, keep away from that word too. For a linguist he certainly knew how to torture himself. He could say 'fuck me' in 23 different languages, not that he'd had occasion to use them for that particular request for a long, long time. He sighed inwardly as he took the mashed potato from Ry'ac.

Teal'c had that 'another Tau're ritual' question forming in his mind but before he could ask about Ry'ac beat him to it.

"Please can you tell me about this Thanksgiving ritual?" the young man asked, looking around the table. Everyone looked at George Hammond for the answer, after all he was the host, and in deference kept quiet.

Hammond laughed as he looked at Daniel. "Daniel, I think this is one for you. You're our cultural expert so you tell it!"

Daniel finished his mouthful of turkey and washing it down with wine, looked at the expectant gathering. He gave a shy little grin before clearing his throat and sitting back in his chair. Jack loved the way Daniel did that; he looked almost edible when he gave that boyish little smile. 

"Almost every culture in the world, well probably in the galaxy, has held celebrations of thanks for a plentiful harvest." 

(Small 'yays' and giggles) 

Daniel smiled indulgently at the way his friends reacted to his little lecture, and for once he didn't mind a little giggling and heckling.

"The American Thanksgiving holiday began as a feast of thanksgiving in the early days of the American colonies almost four hundred years ago. In 1620 a boat filled with more than one hundred people sailed across the Atlantic Ocean to settle in the New World."

(Lots of swaying and pretend 'jolly-sailor' routines)

"This religious group had begun to question the beliefs of the Church of England and wanted to separate from it. The Pilgrims settled in what is now the state of Massachusetts and their first winter in the New World was difficult. They had arrived too late to grow many crops, and without fresh food half the colony died from disease."

('Aahs' and 'shame' and 'maybe MRE's might have helped' and 'Ooh don't think so' in return) 

"The following spring the Iroquois Indians taught them how to grow corn or maize, a new food for the colonists. They showed them other crops to grow in the unfamiliar soil and how to hunt and fish."

(More 'yays' and 'hoorays')

"In the autumn of 1621, bountiful crops of corn, barley, beans and pumpkins were harvested. The colonists had much to be thankful forso a feast was planned. They invited the local Indian chief and 90 Indians. The Indians brought deer to roast with the turkeys and other wild game offered by the colonists. The colonists had learned how to cook cranberries and different kinds of corn and squash dishes from the Indians. To this first Thanksgiving, the Indians had even brought popcorn."

('I like mine with maple syrup' and 'have you ever tried it just ready salted?' 'That's peanuts' 'Oh yeah' and lots more giggling)

"In following years, many of the original colonists celebrated the autumn harvest with a feast of thanks. After the United States became an independent country Congress recommended a yearly day of thanksgiving for the whole nation to celebrate."

(Cheers and clapping)

"George Washington suggested the date of November 26 as Thanksgiving Day. Then in 1863, at the end of a long and bloody civil war, Abraham Lincoln asked all Americans to set aside the last Thursday in November as a day of thanksgiving."

('He had to ask?' 'Yeah right' and much rolling of eyes and laughing)

"Thanksgiving is a time for tradition and sharing."

('Can you lend me twenty bucks?' and 's'off', more laughter)

"Even if they live far away, family members gather for a reunion at the house of an older relative."

(Glances with 'oohs', smiles and 'tee hees' in Hammond's direction) 

"All give thanks together for the good things that they have. In this spirit of sharing, civic groups and charitable organisations offer a traditional meal to those in need, particularly the homeless. On most tables throughout the United States foods eaten at the first thanksgiving have become traditional."

(Applause, laughter and 'yays')

"Did you know," added Jack straight faced, " that before cranberries are put into bags to be sent all over the country, each individual berry must bounce at least four inches high to make sure they're not too ripe?"

"Does Martha Stewart bounce every one?" asked Sam giggling.

"Nah, she's got an army of helpers to do that," snorted Janet.

"I see," said Ry'ac solemnly. 

"Like father like son?" quipped Jack and everyone laughed, guffawed and clapped some more.

* * *

As the evening progressed, Jack and Daniel avoided each other but took the opportunity for surreptitious glances whenever they could. They tried to make polite conversation with each other and over compensated with loud animated discussions and comments with everyone else. The evening was sweet and sour for both of them, being in each other's company and not 'being' in each other's company, Jack wanting Daniel and Daniel thinking Jack didn't want him. 

When the dinner guests moved from the dining room to the living room for coffee, Jack and Daniel placed themselves as far apart as they could decently manage, carefully monitoring their responses to each other and every one else's responses to them. By trying to avoid the spotlight they could just as easily turn it on themselves full blast.

Daniel watched the choreography of the assembled group with interest. Teal'c seated himself next to Sam, Jacob joined Janet and George, and Cassie and Ry'ac sat together sharing earphones as they played the young woman's CDs.

Only Jack and Daniel remained where they were, on opposite sides of the room moving slowly between the groups. Daniel felt they should at least 'look' like they were speaking to each other, if for no other reason than to maintain the ruse of being part of the social niceties that everyone else was engaged in.

Jack remained seated as Daniel stood, his suit jacket already over the back of his chair. Jack's gaze roved quickly over the archaeologist's firm body as he saw Daniel loosen his tie and drop it to rest on his jacket. Jack imagined the sight of Daniel slowly peeling away the remainder of his clothes to reveal a well-toned muscular figure, dark pubic hair and, and...the rest Jack gulped the last of his whiskey as Daniel stood over him, his hands in his pockets.

"So, Jack."

"So, Daniel," Jack responded, looking into his now empty glass.

"Want another?" Daniel asked, holding out his hand to take the glass. Jack hesitated for a moment, thinking about whether another glass of alcohol would put him over the legal limit to drive.

"What the hell, I can always get a cab."

"On Thanksgiving night?"

"Well, if not I'll walk or crash here. I'm sure George wouldn't mind," he smiled.

"It's ten miles to your place Jack. Maybe you should crash," Daniel replied nonchalantly. Then added, "Or I could drop you off after Janet and Cassie if you like." Jack looked at Daniel and the image of him without clothes filtered back into the older man's mind. He shook his head trying to clear the veil of lust shrouding his thoughts.

"Is that a no?" Daniel asked, slightly disappointed.

"Huh?"

"You shook your head so I assume you don't want a lift."

"Did I? I meant to nod, sorry."

"You feeling okay?"

"Sure. Why wouldn't I be?"

"No reason, just asking."

"I'm just peachy," Jack hissed, annoyed with himself for allowing his inner thoughts to surface.

Daniel took a step back tensing, ready for the onslaught of a snarky Jack 'special' that didn't come. Instead Jack apologised quietly, stood and patted Daniel on the shoulder then headed for the drinks tray. Daniel watched as Jack moved slightly unsteadily, dumbfounded by his apology. Apart from the usual social repartee Jack was acting differently, quiet and circumspect. He had something on his mind and Daniel wondered what it was.

Sidling up to the older man, Daniel leaned in close and whispered, "Everything okay Jack? You seem a little preoccupied."

"I'm fine," Jack replied, sipping his whiskey. He felt that Daniel was standing just a little too close for comfort and wanted to avoid such close proximity to the man he really wanted to turn inside out with lustful desires. Daniel, on the other hand, loved standing so close to Jack and feeling the prickles of electricity between them.

Just then Janet joined the two men and draped her arm around Daniel's waist. 

"Cassie and I are staying over at Sam's place so I don't need a lift after all Daniel."

"Anyone need a lift?" called Jack, "Anyone?" He did not want to be alone with his longed-for linguist at night, in the dark, by themselves, alone, oh god...alone.

Frowning, Daniel looked around but no one seemed to be taking any notice. Inwardly Daniel breathed a sigh of relief, he wanted to be alone with Jack for the ride back; he was really quite concerned about the older man and needed to find out what was on his mind, wishing as always that it might be him.

"I will need a lift DanielJackson," rumbled Teal'c, "as will Ry'ac." Nodding, Daniel could only agree and glancing at Jack asked him if he still wanted a lift.

The four men piled into Daniel's car and as they left Hammond's house Daniel asked Jack which route he should take. Jack wondered why on earth Daniel would ask such a strange question when he knew the Springs just as well as Jack. Before answering his mind did a quick re-run of the events of the evening, along with his feelings and responses. Did Daniel want the two of them to be alone by dropping Teal'c and Ry'ac back at the base first? Why would Daniel want to be alone with him? Suddenly the penny dropped and seeing his opportunity Jack cleared his throat to respond.

"Well I guess the direct route to the base would be best, then you can drop me off after. We'll do the scenic route back. Whaddya think?"

"Yes, sounds fine," breathed Daniel, relieved and excited at the same time.

* * *

"You should get a car with four doors Daniel. This is ridiculous," grunted Jack, easing himself out of the back of the car and into the front passenger seat alongside Daniel. 

"Sorry Jack but Teal'c would have a bit of a job getting in the back," Daniel smiled, waiting for Jack to do up his seat belt. Jack struggled to get to grips with it, cursing when it wouldn't click into place and releasing it to swing back into its resting position in a fit of pique.

Daniel placed his right hand on the back of Jack's seat and leaned across to guide the belt slowly into its position next to Jack's thigh and hip with his left hand. As he moved the belt, his cheek was within an inch of Jack's lips and Daniel brushed the back of his hand across Jack's chest and nipples as he pulled the belt down. Jack inhaled slowly, expanding his rib cage and chest against Daniel's arm in response feeling his temperature rise and skin tingle. 

"S...sorry Jack, I didn't mean to..." 

"Mean to what?" Jack asked, in a low suggestive tone.

"To lean all over you," Daniel said quietly, wondering if he had been wrong to test Jack's water. 

"S'okay Daniel, no problem," Jack kept his voice just on the safe side of sultry.

Daniel's mind was in turmoil. Did Jack mean no problem as in 'no problem', or no problem as in 'I don't mind you touching me'? The archaeologist had posed himself a question to which he had to find an answer, but not yet maybe. Best not to say anymore, just keep quiet and hold his peace. Having said that, he had felt Jack's hot breath against his cheek so maybe he would just have to hold his piece instead. 

Jack could feel the perspiration forming on his upper lip as Daniel switched on the car engine and pulled away. Did Daniel do that deliberately or was it just his imagination? If nothing else this incident, plus the image of an unclothed Daniel, would keep Jack in fantasy land for some time and he knew his right hand would certainly be busy over the next few days. Whatever was going on between them (or not) it was best to stay reticent, to keep quiet, maintain his silence. It could just be his overactive imagination after all.

Both men travelled in silence, Daniel being highly attuned to his physical responses to Jack, sifting and processing each suggested nuance, every movement real or imaginary. 

The bleeping tone of a mobile phone shattered the silence and they both looked at each other expecting the call to come from the SGC. Jack reached into his jacket pocket and pulled out a tiny silver slim line phone and flipping the lid, took in the caller details on the little flat screen.

"Hi," Jack said softly, his voice quiet with a hint of pleasure and intimacy. Daniel continued to concentrate on his driving but realised immediately that this was not a work related call. The conversation was very quick and gave nothing away.

"No," Jack said, in a clipped tone.

" "

"Okay."

" "

"Bye."

Daniel's ears felt like a bat's as he strained to pick up any hints as to the identity of the caller. He knew he shouldn't be doing this but his curiosity levels were going off the scale.

"Everything okay?" Daniel ventured, tentatively.

"Sure," Jack replied, adding absolutely nothing to Daniel's attempt to engage the older man in conversation.

"Not the SGC then?"

"Nope."

The rest of the journey back to Jack's place was silent and tense. The phone call had somehow shifted the dynamics and the metaphorical distance between them opened up like a chasm, both men retreating into reticence.


End file.
